Two weeks left of ministry here in Albania. Sorry it has been nearly a month since my last blog which is kind of crazy to think about. Time is flying by. As I write this we are two months away from landing in New York on our way home.
I want to give an update on where I have been the past few weeks, while also filling you in on what is next, and prayer requests going forward.
As it has been more than eight months since getting on a plane that would take me away from home for nearly eleven months, I have gotten to the point where I am exhausted. I am physically drained, spiritually drained, but more than anything mentally drained. It is getting hard to choose into days, wake up in the mornings, stay present in conversations, or even remain awake throughout the day unless I am constantly moving. The amount of times that I have been writing a blog and had to stop to take a nap is ridiculous. So please please be praying for some supernatural energy to finish this thing out strong. To be able to choose in and make the most of the remainder of this experience.
Other areas you could be praying include a lot of the things that have been cluttering my mind:
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How to find rest.
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How to dive deeper into God’s love.
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How to grow in further relationship with God.
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How to minister to others through relationship and not religion.
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How to prepare for life after the race and allowing God to direct my path.
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How to portray this journey well through blogs going forward.
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How to reach people with the precious gospel not just here but back home as well.
Throughout this trip I have been able to break things down into seasons of what I was growing in (Costa Rica- Identity, son of God | Guatemala- choosing into the moment, seeking God’s heart, confidence | Honduras, being real with God in prayer, trusting God in all circumstances | Romania, seeking fulfillment from God’s love for me and not others). The past month and a half I wasn’t really sure what this season was. My brain has been clogged and haven’t really felt anything pressing. As I write this blog I am realizing how God is pointing me to dive into rest with Him.
I have found myself frustrated because I feel like my brain just hasn’t been working right. I don’t know what to write about. I don’t know what to pray about. I don’t know what to talk with others about. I’m starting to understand God telling me “that it is okay, because I just want you to rest with me.”
Typically I would find rest in a few different ways. It can be from not talking to anybody for a couple days, going into nature and enjoying God’s beautiful creation, playing sports and letting my mind just be focused on that and nothing else for a second, at times drawing can provide that rest which would likely go along with not talking to anybody, and other times I just need to be in a group of people for a bit. I find it difficult to know exactly how to rest, because I am both introverted and extroverted and don’t know when I need which.
All of those things do not always work however. What never fails to work in one way or another is resting in God’s presence. This can look like going on a hike, being alone, everything else I listed and you may list, but we need to invite God into that space to truly pursue rest and strength. Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 1 Chronicles 16:11. Strength comes from the Lord, oh how easy it is to forget simple truth.
When God created the heavens and the earth, He had rest in mind. Days would start with rest. Days were sundown to sundown, not sun up to sun up. And there was evening and there was morning. Genesis 1. God wants us to rest, our days should start with rest. To have energy and passion for the day we must start with rest.
What does rest look like? It can be a variety of things, but ultimately it comes from being in God’s presence. My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14.
God created life with rest as a vital part of our life. He placed the sabbath in our life for a reason and purpose. Then Jesus declared, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27. God doesn’t say things just to say things. He has our best interest in mind. He wants us to find rest. Not only rest, but time to reflect on the work that you have done. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. Genesis 2:2-3
Without resting we will grow weary. We will get weak. We cannot rely on our own strength. Our flesh will fail. We must rely on the Lord our God to renew us daily. Seek Him! My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26. I have been tired, and it is hard for me to stay focused while praying or reading the Bible. It has even been hard for me to stay disciplined in blocking out time to be with the Lord. But I am realizing more and more that physical rest is not what I need. The only way I can truly be strengthened and energized is to go to the Lord. But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
Remain strengthened! This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. Choose into today and everything God has in store. Keep your mind and heart sharp, don’t get lazy.
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2
What is next?
So we are less than three weeks away from making a second attempt at getting to South Africa! My team will be in South Africa for roughly three weeks, we will then head to our last ministry location in the country of Lesotho, and after only like two and a half weeks there we will head back to South Africa for our final debrief. So we are getting real close to the finish line.
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Side Note: A lot of blogs, but especially this blog, are written from a place of me walking through these lessons, and learning as I go. Oftentimes the actual process of me writing the blogs is when I am learning or working on these things. I do not have rest figured out. I do not have sitting still with the Lord figured out. I do not have bringing the Lord’s presence into everything I do figured out. But I want to figure it out, and I want you to as well.
If you have tips. If you are in a similar place of feeling burnt out. If you have a verse to share. Whatever may be on your mind after reading this. Please leave a comment. Let me know that you are reading my blogs, and if they have any sort of impact.
Father, I am tired. I am in a place where I don’t feel I have much to pour out. I need your presence. I need your strength. Give me the motivation and passion to be excited every morning. Renew my mind daily. Fill me up with more of you. Bring my heart into a further love of who you are. Bring me deeper satisfaction in the times I spend with you. Be my rock Lord.
Amen.
Love y’all a lot! Jesus loves you a heck of a lot more!!!
Peace
JD
GOD bless and keep you dear brotha!! I hear your heart crying out and even trusting JESUS even though you don’t have it all figured out. I don’t know anyone who does have it all figured out. As I was reading and praying through this important blog I was thinking about so many times in my life where the only thing I knew for sure was that GOD is good, HE loves me and HE is “faithful to complete the work HE began in me until the day of CHRIST JESUS” (Philippians 1:6). HE is faithful and will always be. We don’t always see the growth or even feel HIS presence but HE is there. That’s how seeds grow too. Planted, watered, sunlight and wait. It’s happening in you right now as you go about your everyday highs, lows and nothings. Psalm 23 is really helpful to me during any time really but especially in exhaustion/feeling burnt out. I love you, but JESUS loves you a whole heck of a lot more!! Praying for you dear brother!!
JD this is such a good reminder on a discipline that I don’t do very well. Rest can be so elusive because doing nothing is not the same as resting, especially resting in the Lord. This takes intentionality which can itself feel contradictory to the idea of resting. I love you and am excited to have you home but I know that God has more for you in these last couple of months. Praying that you can find/experience rest while also finishing strong in the relationships and opportunities that God puts before you.
Great wisdom here JD. Thank you for posting about the real things.
It’s such a relief to know that the need for rest goes back to creation. I wish I had understood that when I was a student/young wife/mom! Resting in Christ is an awesome gift – I still am learning how to do it – but to think that Christ is present with us is so humbling.
Romans 8 has a lot to say I think. From our salvation (Christ’s finished work and we do not work for it) vs 1-4 and 31-39, to living with our minds set on the Spirit vs 5-11 (“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”) to the Spirit interceding on our behalf vs 26 & 27.
Also Ephesians 2 has so much about our salvation as a gift not worked for, and then vs 10 (“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”), this one has been huge for me. I want to seek out God’s will and all of the good things I can strive for/do. But what a relief that God has already prepared the works I am to do! It’s not up to me to create them, I just need to take the opportunities He provides. What a relief.
Sorry I’m so chatty here. One last thing – sleep and physical rest. It’s so easy to neglect these things but it is a way of thinking we know better than God. It has taken me a long time to “get” that. You’re way ahead of a lot of old people. 🙂
Love you JD and am praying for you as you seek and find rest, guidance and strength that only He can provide.
Hi JD,
It is so good to hear from you and what you are feeling and learning! In the middle of your “fog” and exhaustion don’t be discouraged! God doesn’t waste anything that you are experiencing. This path that you are walking right now is just as important as the “Mountain top” experiences you have had in the past. Many believers have found
that some of their most healing and precious times with the Lord came as they accepted their fatigue and weariness and were just quiet in their spirit and mind before Him. That is when God began to bring healing, insight and precious reminders of His love, forgiveness and new direction. Don’t be in a hurry to change where you are! God has precious things to share with you!
Love you JD! Mammy
True. I think it can be hard to dive into to intentionally resting. Because when it feels like you need rest you are tired and don’t want to actually choose into resting. It’s not something we typically think we need to choose into.
Thank you!
Such important truths to have in your back pocket to go back to! What else do we need outside of those things?
Definitely going to be praying that during this season! Thanks brotha! Miss you tons!
Of course! Thank you for taking the time to read it!
Rest is a real tricky thing to figure out. But yes knowing God just wants relationship with us makes it sweeter to just sit with Him. Now we just gotta be disciplined enough to do it.
Thank you so much!! Definitely receiving those prayers!
True, it can be easy to slip into moments of frustration rather than trusting the bigger picture of what God is walking me through. Glad He is sovereign and knows what He is doing. Now just learning to still my mind.. love you and miss you!!
JD, thanks so much for your rawness and vulnerability. I have loved and been encouraged to pursue God in new and better ways with each post. This one is especially needed for me and likely so many others. We live in a culture where people wear a badge of business and true rest in the Lord is evasive, but so needed. Thanks fot the ending prayer which spoke so clearly to me. I’m praying for strength, endurance and God’s heart for you as you finish this chapter in life and even more that these days will feed the next chapter for you!!
Danggg JB!! Another ?? blog post! Love that you’re sharing where you’re at and what you’re struggling with and more importantly how you’re seeking the Lord in those things! Love reading what you have to write! Can’t wait to read your books someday!;)
JD!!! So dang good. These scriptures are fire. I’m praying for you and covering all of those prayers on that prayer list!! Thankful for your honesty and vulnerability always!!!