Two weeks left of ministry here in Albania. Sorry it has been nearly a month since my last blog which is kind of crazy to think about. Time is flying by. As I write this we are two months away from landing in New York on our way home. 

I want to give an update on where I have been the past few weeks, while also filling you in on what is next, and prayer requests going forward.

As it has been more than eight months since getting on a plane that would take me away from home for nearly eleven months, I have gotten to the point where I am exhausted. I am physically drained, spiritually drained, but more than anything mentally drained. It is getting hard to choose into days, wake up in the mornings, stay present in conversations, or even remain awake throughout the day unless I am constantly moving. The amount of times that I have been writing a blog and had to stop to take a nap is ridiculous. So please please be praying for some supernatural energy to finish this thing out strong. To be able to choose in and make the most of the remainder of this experience. 

Other areas you could be praying include a lot of the things that have been cluttering my mind:

• How to find rest.

• How to dive deeper into God’s love.

• How to grow in further relationship with God.

• How to minister to others through relationship and not religion.

• How to prepare for life after the race and allowing God to direct my path.

• How to portray this journey well through blogs going forward.

• How to reach people with the precious gospel not just here but back home as well.

Throughout this trip I have been able to break things down into seasons of what I was growing in (Costa Rica- Identity, son of God | Guatemala- choosing into the moment, seeking God’s heart, confidence | Honduras, being real with God in prayer, trusting God in all circumstances | Romania, seeking fulfillment from God’s love for me and not others). The past month and a half I wasn’t really sure what this season was. My brain has been clogged and haven’t really felt anything pressing. As I write this blog I am realizing how God is pointing me to dive into rest with Him. 

I have found myself frustrated because I feel like my brain just hasn’t been working right. I don’t know what to write about. I don’t know what to pray about. I don’t know what to talk with others about. I’m starting to understand God telling me “that it is okay, because I just want you to rest with me.”

Typically I would find rest in a few different ways. It can be from not talking to anybody for a couple days, going into nature and enjoying God’s beautiful creation, playing sports and letting my mind just be focused on that and nothing else for a second, at times drawing can provide that rest which would likely go along with not talking to anybody, and other times I just need to be in a group of people for a bit. I find it difficult to know exactly how to rest, because I am both introverted and extroverted and don’t know when I need which.  

All of those things do not always work however. What never fails to work in one way or another is resting in God's presence. This can look like going on a hike, being alone, everything else I listed and you may list, but we need to invite God into that space to truly pursue rest and strength. Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 1 Chronicles 16:11. Strength comes from the Lord, oh how easy it is to forget simple truth. 

When God created the heavens and the earth, He had rest in mind. Days would start with rest. Days were sundown to sundown, not sun up to sun up. And there was evening and there was morning. Genesis 1. God wants us to rest, our days should start with rest. To have energy and passion for the day we must start with rest. 

What does rest look like? It can be a variety of things, but ultimately it comes from being in God’s presence. My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14. 

God created life with rest as a vital part of our life. He placed the sabbath in our life for a reason and purpose. Then Jesus declared, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27. God doesn’t say things just to say things. He has our best interest in mind. He wants us to find rest. Not only rest, but time to reflect on the work that you have done. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. Genesis 2:2-3

Without resting we will grow weary. We will get weak. We cannot rely on our own strength. Our flesh will fail. We must rely on the Lord our God to renew us daily. Seek Him! My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26. I have been tired, and it is hard for me to stay focused while praying or reading the Bible. It has even been hard for me to stay disciplined in blocking out time to be with the Lord. But I am realizing more and more that physical rest is not what I need. The only way I can truly be strengthened and energized is to go to the Lord. But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Remain strengthened! This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. Choose into today and everything God has in store. Keep your mind and heart sharp, don’t get lazy. 

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

What is next?

So we are less than three weeks away from making a second attempt at getting to South Africa! My team will be in South Africa for roughly three weeks, we will then head to our last ministry location in the country of Lesotho, and after only like two and a half weeks there we will head back to South Africa for our final debrief. So we are getting real close to the finish line.

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Side Note: A lot of blogs, but especially this blog, are written from a place of me walking through these lessons, and learning as I go. Oftentimes the actual process of me writing the blogs is when I am learning or working on these things. I do not have rest figured out. I do not have sitting still with the Lord figured out. I do not have bringing the Lord’s presence into everything I do figured out. But I want to figure it out, and I want you to as well. 

If you have tips. If you are in a similar place of feeling burnt out. If you have a verse to share. Whatever may be on your mind after reading this. Please leave a comment. Let me know that you are reading my blogs, and if they have any sort of impact. 

Father, I am tired. I am in a place where I don’t feel I have much to pour out. I need your presence. I need your strength. Give me the motivation and passion to be excited every morning. Renew my mind daily. Fill me up with more of you. Bring my heart into a further love of who you are. Bring me deeper satisfaction in the times I spend with you. Be my rock Lord.

Amen.

Love y’all a lot! Jesus loves you a heck of a lot more!!!

Peace

JD