Present in the Darkness

We have been in Albania for nearly two weeks now. We are in Tirana which is the capital of Romania working with an international church called IPA Tirana. International meaning, we get to work with mostly people from the United States. The pastor of the church we have gotten to work with a lot moved here roughly 23 years ago. The two people who are our ministry hosts are also from the States. The church is bilingual meaning everything is in English and Albanian.

Our living situation is probably the nicest I have had the entire year. We have beds for all seven of us (going to be eight next week). Three separate bedrooms and baths. Although my room has very little space beyond the bunkbed it has a little room to hang shirts up and have my things somewhat organized for the first time this year. We have a living space that has a couple tables, several couches, AC (Praise God), and even a tv! We also have a solid kitchen which is super helpful when we are running on five dollars a day for food…

The first week of being here the four men on the team worked around the property painting walls, staining wood, pressure washing a wall and patio area, removing a stump, and I think that is it. During the evening ministry we got to get into the community to see where things are in Tirana. We would choose a spot and start worshipping a couple nights, then Thursday night we got to head to the park, and I was able to find a way into a couple of basketball games. Love creating connection through sports, definitely what I am most practiced at.

During the morning ministry time the three women on the team got to spend that time planning a VBS which we are now in the middle of this week. The theme they came up with is Royalty. Which points to the glory of God as our King forever while also highlighting how important and loved we all are as His children. The verse of the week that they came up with for the kids to go over every day and hopefully have memorized by the end of the week is Zephaniah 3:17.

“The Lord your God is with you.

The Mighty One will save you.

The Lord will be happy with you.

You will rest in His love.

He will sing and be joyful about you.”

Isn’t it sweet how God can use time like getting to be a part of ministering to these 17ish 6–13-year-olds to also align with where you are at? 

My time in Albania has felt funky to me. I don’t know, I have just felt off. Not fully myself, not as confident in general, but especially in conversation, constantly tired, and not really knowing what God is saying to me. I have discussed this before in blogs, but like I want more from God. I want to not just know in my head that He is present but also know because it is evident.

Matthew 7:7 states “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Yo, God I have been knocking where are you at?! It all just feels blurry. I don’t really know what to talk to God about right now outside of praying for the world and for others, but even those things feel bland. It seems like that blends into conversations with others as well.

I know God is there, I know He hears my prayers, and I have even seen Him answer prayers, but I am growing impatient waiting for more of Him. Longing for deeper connection, deeper understanding, deeper love. As I have been here in Albania, I have consistently been asking God for me to know His presence more and to hear Him better. A few days ago, I got an answer from Him that is not really the most satisfying as all He seemed to say was a plain “trust me.” One way He told me this was through the verse Proverbs 3:5-6. The very popular verse goes like this: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” This allowed me to go back to knowing God is there, He is in me and with me. I need and want that assurance a lot. I still want more of Him and will continue to pursue Him like crazy, but I know He is doing a work in me and that His plans are greater.

This brought me back to a morning where I was sitting on a park bench during my “quiet time” back in the middle of our time in Romania. This day I was off in a different way. Almost feeling like I was getting burnt out by pursuing others and either not feeling that in return or not knowing if that pursuit was recognized. I don’t think any of that is true, probably just a funky morning where my head took one thing too far. However, what I ultimately came to that morning was it doesn’t matter.

The song “The God Who Stays” by Matthew West came on and spoke nicely to where I was at that morning. This ended up being part of the prayer I wrote down that morning In July:

“You God, are the love of my life. You will forever be the love of my life. Thank you. Thank you that you want to be pursued. That when I pursue you, I get more of you. That you don’t turn elsewhere, you are looking right at me, loving me. Thank you for the gift of relationship. That it isn’t just me following a set of rules, but you actually walk with me through life. In good times and bad times, you are here. Your heart breaks when my heart breaks. You celebrate when I am celebrating. You see me when I feel unseen. You are a good, good Father.”

“The Lord your God is with you.” This is something I treasure daily knowing I have Him by my side. It is crazy to think that He is still present and hears my prayers even when there are wild things happening around the world. Why would He take the time to listen to me? But He does.

The last couple of weeks my heart has been heavy with everything that has been going on in Afghanistan. I want to include this section of this blog in here as well because I just feel strongly about it. There are some horrible things happening in Afghanistan. I urge you to not just look at it from a far and label it a lost cause, or even pray for this country once and then move on. Afghanistan has one of the fastest growing churches in the world! We have brothers and sisters there being hunted down for their faith. This is where we as the global church need to step up and be real warriors in prayer for them.

This is a really dark situation, and like I said it may be easy to label this situation as a lost cause, but the Lord your God is with them! We need to remember that God takes a lot of unlikely places, people, and situations and points it back to His glory. Let’s remember how God turned Saul to Paul, from a man persecuting Christians to a man leading the early church. Jesus took a boy, five loaves and two fish and fed 5,000 people out of it. Jesus came as baby, from a mother who was a virgin, born in a stable, and came from Nazareth to end up being the Savior of the world.

God is present even in the darkness. God can use the Christians that are there to transform hearts even if that means giving up their lives. God can transform the hearts of those seeking to kill Christians, He did it with Saul. God can alter paths to keep people from death or abuse. God can use what is happening in the country to transform and bring together the global church. God can bring refugees into other countries to minister. God can place opportunities for people to minister to refugees coming into their environment. We have a really big God! Church let’s get up! Start praying! Be a warrior for God’s kingdom!

Your prayers are heard! Your prayers matter!

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14

Love y’all a lot! Jesus loves you a heck of a lot more!!

Peace,

JD