Valentine’s Day Edition

Not a ton of new things happened this week as far as new topics to talk about so I thought I would share my thoughts on dating/marriage which will hopefully align with scripture. Many people will probably dismiss this blog out of credibility because I am single and have not had many relationships in the past. However, this is exactly why I want to put this blog out there. We get many takes on relationships from people already married but how many come from people who are single? I know many people who follow along with my blog are already married so hopefully you can get a little something out of it as well.

I will start with singleness. Friends, singleness is so flipping important and such a gift. Stop being depressed you have not found your significant other and make your season of singleness count. Sorry that was blunt, but like let’s go! This is a period of time where you can fully rely on God to fulfill you (spoiler alert: He is the only one that truly can, and you will need to rely on Him for this through dating and marriage as well). You can grow in so many ways through being single that you probably will not be able to when you are with somebody. If you can’t care for yourself when you only need to worry about caring for yourself, or if you can’t grow in relationship with God alone and be fundamentally sound with where you are with God. Then what makes you think you are in a spot to help somebody else do this? Also, when you are single you are freed up to do totally different things for God’s kingdom than you will be when you have a family to worry about. And by the way Jesus was single so definitely can do a lot without a spouse. So, get out there and start serving the Lord!

Now on to the dating portion of this. Do not date somebody who is not a Christian!! SO IMPORTANT! Even if the other person says that they are a Christian you still need to be very careful about who you are dating, because as the Bible says you should be equally yoked. You should be in similar places in your walk with God. How can you each push each other to pursue God and His kingdom if one person is in a far different spot than the other? Take dating seriously. Do it in a healthy way. You should have relationships with somebody with the intention of getting married. So, if you or they are not ready to get married individually then you maybe should stay in that season of singleness until you are.

Also, set up boundaries and stay true to those boundaries. Stay away from sin even if it brings temporary satisfaction. Honor the other person well. Sin has consequences whether it is easy to see or not.

If you are following Christ, you need to be in a totally different thought process than the world has when it comes to relationships. We grow up with this idea that marriage is ultimate, “and they lived happily ever after.” Right? Like everything in our culture directly points to finding your “soul mate” and really having that be the grandest thing there is to accomplish in life. What that does is place so much on whoever it is that you end up marrying. It places unreal expectations on them to fulfill you for the rest of their life. What does this result in? Probably divorce. Look at the stats, they aren’t pretty.

So, what should your mindset be when looking for somebody to marry? As a follower of Jesus, we should be looking for somebody who will be a fantastic ministry partner. Somebody who has spiritual gifts that will compliment yours well. Our mission in life is to know the father better and better and to build God’s kingdom. So, if that is our mission than everything that we do should be done with that in mind. Including who we choose to be our significant other. Marry somebody you know will be a fantastic teammate for building God’s kingdom. A person who will always put God before everything, including you.

I have heard it said from a podcast that you should be looking for a “boring” marriage. Kind of an interesting thought but also a very true statement. Dramatic, and crazy relationships make for good television but not for a great marriage. A great marriage is CHOOSING to love the other person daily. You are not always going to feel love for your spouse every morning you wake up, but you will have to choose to love them. Choose patience, grace, forgiveness, and love. This marriage will be one where each person is constantly pointing the other to God and having God as the foundation of the marriage. If you are relying on yourselves to be that foundation, then that will be a far less powerful structure. If you place and keep God as the foundation that relationship will be indestructible.

 

About Me

I guess I should write about where I am at on the topic too because well that’s kind of how blogs work. The world race had us sign a document that signs our rights away to dating for the year in order to keep us focused on God and building His kingdom. Although I don’t necessarily think this is as strict as it sounds, it is something I agree with. The church nowadays seems to expect Christians to be married around the age that I am at (21) which is insane honestly. Even leaving on this trip it felt like the main thing that my family and closest friends were worried about was me finding a wife. Love y’all but chill haha.

Like I said your time being single should be looked at as such a gift. I am in place where I am trying my best to place my eyes and direct my heart only to the Lord. Which is something that is very difficult to do. I wouldn’t admit it normally because I know that it is not true, but I think my mind has naturally been very wrapped up in the idea that marriage is ultimate because that is the culture we live in. Which by the way everybody, guard your hearts. Be careful what you listen to and what you watch because it does impact how you think so very much. Most of my life I have bought into this and have longed for and been distracted by girls/women and that is a tough habit to break. There have not been many moments in my life where I have been fully content with God and not worried about finding somebody to date. When I have been fully focused on God and enjoying singleness to the fullest it has been some of the most peaceful times of my life.

Here on the race has the potential to be a fantastic place for me to be fully focused on God. What an opportunity for me to grow… If after the trip I end up with a girlfriend then awesome. If after the trip I end up single, then awesome. Until November though I am going to do my best to give all my attention to God and building my relationship with Him which will hopefully put me in a better position to date/marry somebody anyway whenever that may be. Who knows what the Lord has for me, but I’m along for the ride.

Jesus loves you more than any significant other ever will!

Much Love!

JD